What Do Happy Couples Do

We have all heard the saying, “If you want to be successful, do what successful people do.” It would then make perfect sense that if you want to be a happy couple, you should start doing what happy couples do. Not only does it sound reasonable, it is effective. By emulating the habits of couples that are happy together, then you will begin to reap the same rewards they do.  Essentially, do what happy couples do, and you too will be a happy couple.

People are habitual creatures. We do specific things that produce specific results, and we repeat those things subconsciously, to receive the same results. The goal of most people is to uncover what habits produce positive results in our life on a fairly consistent basis. The difference between unhappy and happy couples is the happy couples have figured out the habits that produce their desired results.

We have all seen them, those couples who make everyone sick, that seem to be alone in the crowd. The ones who are touching, sneaking kisses, looking lovingly in each other’s eyes, truly happy to be next to each other and having time to be together. We often will look at them and think they must be newlyweds, but often those same couples have been together for many years. So how in the world can someone still look like that after 10, 13 20 years? Why are they annoying or sickening to us is it because we are jealous that they have what we have never been able to achieve in our own relationships? 

But what if we could be that couple that everyone is jealous of? What if we too could become a happy couple? What if we could uncover the habits that tend to encourage that type of relationship without the trial and error we go through, would it be worth the effort to emulate those habits? A relationship is like a flower or actually any living thing. It requires nurturing and care for it to reach its potential. If we neglect it, it will eventually die. True, it might have some moments, but without nurturing and caring, all things will die.

Even the healthiest of relationships will face hardships that could break apart an average couple. What keeps them going through the hard times is the abundance of love and caring that is put into the relationship during the good times. It’s those good habits that keep a happy couple together when times are tough. Think of it as a container, and the more little things you do for each other the fuller the container gets. When times get rough, the container begins to empty. If there is enough reserve inside the container, the hard times will pass and we can begin to refill the container. If the container is empty when a hardship happens, then there is little chance for the relationship to move past the hardship. In order to fill the love container, we have to do little things all the time.

Leaving little letters or notes in places that your spouse or partner will find throughout the day is one great way to begin filling the container. Happy Couples will tend to put notes in their partners lunch. Put a message on their vehicles steering wheel or in numerous other places they will see it on their way to work or during their day when they are not together. Even the tiniest of messages will be welcomed be each other. Even something short such as “Have a great day honey, see you tonight” Maybe even leave one under the toilet seat. Just do little things that require just a little effort to continually fill that container of love.

Being silly is one sure way to keep the atmosphere light and happy in our every day lives. Sit down and hold each others feet while sitting on the couch and just rub each other lightly. Sneak up behind each other and make pig noises as you nuzzle each others neck. Act a little young and enjoy just being near each other. Keeping the mood light while you are showing affection will keep a smile on your faces, and will do wonders to fill up the loving container. Be as affectionate and passionate as either of you can stand, and make sure to kiss and touch each other. If you have the passion in your relationship, things don’t seem to affect you as much. Besides, it’s a wonderful feeling to have the person you are with come up and kiss you whenever they have a chance, or pat you on the bottom. So do it and do it all the time, and who cares if it makes others sick. After all, they are really just a little jealous they don’t have those themselves.

Take time to check in with each other throughout your busy days. Send a text message or give each other a quick phone call, and just say hey baby. Happy couples will make contact with each other to just let the other one know they are thinking of them. Little things like that make a long drawn out day at the office or other busy day have little moments of happiness. Make each other smile as often as possible.

The main thing is to develop several daily, weekly, monthly habits that show your partner that they are on your mind. Have rituals that become an every day part of your life. Whether those habits and rituals are affectionate in nature or just simply thoughtful, have lots of them. You want to fill that relationship container with all the happiness and love as possible so when the rainy days are before you, the two of you will sail on by and then get back to the happy couple you really are. Don’t let others persuade you out of being affectionate with each other. Let others see what happy couples do, and maybe you too will inspire others into being a happy couple as well. I have to admit, helping others with their relationships keeps our relationship in high gear. So lead by example, and help others and yourself.

While certain things may provide you with temporary happiness, one will never be truly find happiness from external stimulus. Those who define their happiness by the things they acquire, the goals they attain, or the people they are with, find themselves forever searching for happiness. For those people, true lasting happiness will always elude them. Happiness is more of a state of mind. It is something that comes when you are ready to receive it. When dealing with relationships, it is the same principle. If you are always looking for that one special person who will make you happy, you will find yourself in and out of relationships always searching, always feeling unsatisfied. Instead of searching for happiness from the outside, find happiness within yourself. Allow yourself to be happy with who you are and who you are with.

I see so many people grumbling about everyday life. I hear them say how they hate this and hate that. How this person or that person ruins their day. Now I ask you, how will someone who is generally unhappy about everything find happiness in someone else? Even if they were to find someone special, chances are they would not be able to realize that person due to the cloud of unhappiness that hangs over their head. Instead of relishing and enjoying the company of their new found partner, they will be on the lookout for the things they hate. Ready to find what is wrong with that person so they can have their “aha” moment and be able to separate themselves from the beauty of the relationship as they already knew there would be a flaw in this initially perfect person.

We can all find things wrong with other people. No one is perfect, and we all can sometimes do things or have habits that can be perceived as issues down the line. Maybe those people are so unhappy due to who they are inside, and it is not so much everyone else as it is themselves, after all, we can always leave someone but not ourselves. If you want to be happy, quit looking at others for your happiness. Be happy with who you are, who you are with, and what you have. Allow yourself to be happy, and you will become happy. Give others happiness, and you will receive it back. Don’t be jealous of what others have. Be grateful for what you have, and choose to smile at you partner. If you can begin to do that, you will find yourself giving and receiving smiles between the two of you. Choose to love your partner as unconditionally as possible, and the things that drive you crazy will begin to disappear. Don’t use phrases like “I can’t stand it when he does this” or “She drives me crazy when she does this”.Find what you do like about your partner and focus on the good. Cherish what you already have and build on that, and your relationship will prosper.